Revising writing

Yesterday and today I have been working with Hajera on a piece of sample writing. I had to delete, rearrange, and edit this writing.

My Edited Piece of Writing

On Saturday I was at my Papa's, Aunt’s, and Uncle’s, house getting ready for halloween. When I saw my Papa he was dressed up in a very spooky zombie costume then I was dress up as a purple bat. Me and my Papa were ready for halloween. Me and my Papa were going around the houses asking for lollies.

Once we went to a house that was very black and very spooky.My Papa got scared but I told him don’t worry because It's just a house full of halloween decorations. There were lots of spiderwebs, bats and witch decorations. I knocked on the door and out came a man dressed as a ghost and then a lady came out to give us some yummy sweets. “Happy trick or treating” I said to them next. I went down to another house that wasn't spooky at all.

It only had spiders and a black witch’s broom. I knocked on the door and out came a black witch. The black witch gave us chocolate and pumpkin candy’s.

When we stopped at Kings Road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu they were going trick or treating for yummy treats. Me and my Papa were walking to Zara and a

asked if we can come with you to get yummy treats then she said yes. When we stopped down at the cafe we had a hot chocolate drink and a strawberry cupcake. We went back down to Coral Cress to go to another houses for trick or treating. When we saw another house that was even scarier I said happy trick or treat and then out came a spider. The spider was only a decoration and a man came to give us lollies and chocolate. It was fun at halloween night. When I got tied it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies I had and I ate them all.